


Flowers From Thorns

by HK44



Series: The Chef, the Doctor and the Lawyer [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Apologies, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Polyamory, Redemption, Trans!Naruto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-15 02:58:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14782349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HK44/pseuds/HK44
Summary: Sakura didn't expect a lot of things when she opened her door but finding Sasuke there was definitely not one of them.





	Flowers From Thorns

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, haven't seen Naruto in like two years but enjoy this ten thousand word fic anyway.

Sakura leaned back and struggled to rifle her keys from her pocket. She swore then swiveled around. “Gar, can you…”

He nodded behind his two bags and let her dump one of hers into his chest, barely giving out a grunt. Though he stumbled back a bit. She sent him an apologetic glance he couldn’t see and pleasantly kicked his foot. Shuffling the other bag to her hip, she pulled out the apartment keys, unlocking the front door and shuffling through.

“Babe, we’re back and we got-” She froze. “Sasuke.”

He looked up at her from the where he was leaning against the counter. A cup of coffee gripped loosely in his free hand, his phone held out low by his stomach though the hand drooped as he looked away.

He still looked  _too_  damn pretty. 

“Hey,” he said, like he’d always  _fucking_  been there. Like this wasn’t the first time she’d seen him in  _a year_. 

“Sakura?” Gaara said behind her.

She blinked, glancing back at him as he struggled to move forward with her in the way. She shook her head and shifted away. He slipped through the open door and dropped his bags on the table, which creaked under the weight.

Sasuke frowned at the nose.

She scowled at him and steadied herself. “What are you doing here? How did you even get in?”

He glanced up at her, almost seeming surprised at her tone. Then the blankness she had grown so accustomed to eased out over his face. He glanced over at the hallway. “Naruto. Group project.” He looked back down at his phone. “We’re doing it together.”

“Naruto,” she said slowly, “wanted to study with  _you_.”

“Teacher assigned partners,” Sasuke said dryly. “And seeing as he hasn’t sent me anything yet, I figured it was time to be proactive and get him to focus before he failed us.”

“He is focusing,” Sakura shot back. “It’s not his fault you’re an insufferable jerk he can’t stand.”

Gaara edged up behind her and laughed quietly in her eye. “Oh. You’re  _that_  Sasuke.” He rested his chin on Sakura’s shoulder and said, “We have a photo of you we use on the dartboard.”

Sasuke’s eye twitched.

“Also, I think my sister was hired to kill you.” Sasuke’s eye twitched again and Gaara shrugged. “But she didn’t hurt children as a rule. It didn’t pan out.” He brushed a stray piece of Sakura’s hair from his lip. “Naruto doesn’t like you.”

“He doesn’t have to,” Sasuke snapped.

“I can see why he doesn’t,” Gaara said, not the least bit disturbed.

Annoyance curled through Sasuke’s eyes, but he visibly bit back whatever he’d planned to say, sucking his teeth loudly as he gazed back down at his phone. The cup of coffee still in his hand shook. 

Sakura sat down her bag on the counter beside him and shooed him away. He wandered over to the other side of the room and leaned against the wall there. He said and did nothing while the other two packed away their stuff. Just stared at his phone and drank his coffee.

“Where’s Naruto?” Sakura asked, finally exhausted of his silence. He didn’t answer her question. Irritancy prickled up her back. She resisted the urge to slam the jar of pickles into the counter, instead swallowing her anger and gently letting it plod from her fingertips to the counter. “Yo, where’s my fucking fiancé?”

He didn’t bother even looking at her. “Forgot his book in his locker like a high schooler. He went to go get it.”

Pushing the Quick Eats cans into place on the bottom shelf, Gaara paused then snorted. “He was using it last night to study for his midterm.” He looked over at Sakura. “I think he wanted to avoid Sauce.”

Sakura bit her lip to stop from giggling at the name. She sent a quick look over her shoulder and felt vindicated to see Sasuke’s glowering at Gaara.

“It’s Sasuke.”

“Okay, Sauce,” Gaara said content. He flickered a pack of batteries through his fingers. “Usual place?” She nodded, and he grabbed the bag full of toiletries and walked steady to the bathroom. He ducked his head back through the hallway opening and smiled loosely at Sasuke, his eyes amused for the first time in days. “Oh, by the way, it’s nice to meet you, Sauce.”

Then he vanished before Sasuke, body riddled with anger, could say anything back at him. Instead he looked up at Sakura and huffed. “So, I suppose you had some things to say that lead to _that_?”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “No. That was _all_ Naruto and your own arrogance.”

“It shouldn’t surprise you,” Sasuke started, tone heavy, “but I _am_ actually good at what I do. If Naruto has any complaints, they’re likely his own fault.”

She bit her tongue, regained her sense and formulated her words carefully. “Naruto is also good at what he does, if you haven’t noticed. He studies harder than anyone else with a lot more roadblocks.”

“In a real situation, people aren’t going to give him chances,” Sasuke cut in. “So, don’t you think someone should-”

“ _Don’t act like you’re being nice!_ ” she shouted, whirling on him. She pointed at him, barely able to keep the _pissed_ tremor from radiating over her body. For a moment, he looked fearful, backing up into the wall as she stalked towards him. “You’ve been cruel to him from the start. If he complains about you just because you beat him in a debate or because you got a higher mark on a test, he is fully within his rights!”

She stabbed his chest. “And I swear to God, I would _deck_ you right here, right now, if it weren’t for the fact that he needs you for this _fucking_ class apparently.”

He pushed her hands away. “So, this is all for _him_ , then?”

She glowered at him. Fury curdled through her body like a fire. “You left me _to die_ ,” she snarled.

“It’s been five years!”

Without a second to think, to hesitate, she grabbed him by the front of his shirt and slammed him into the wall. “YOU LEFT ME TO DIE!” She slammed her free hand into his chest, gleeful at the way his eyes darkened in pain. “All I did was try to make sure you didn’t wind up _exactly_ as you did, and you repaid my efforts by humiliating me and then _leaving me to die in a field_.”

She took a step back and pushed back her hair. “I didn’t tell Gaara because he might’ve actually gone out and _murdered_ you. Something I had to refrain Naruto from doing. And Ino from doing. And _literally all of my friends_.” She swallowed thickly. “Are you even _sorry_? Cause you haven’t said it.”

And he still didn’t, cutting his eyes from her gaze. After a steady beat of silence, he relaxed back into the wall and began flicking through his phone again. She stared at him, wondering when the feeling of betrayal that broke out in her throat every time she saw him was going to end.

When she was going to stop being that girl wondering how long it was going to die and still holding out the tiniest bit of hope that he would come back for her.

She rubbed her eyes and took a step back, suddenly exhausted. She fiddled around for a few more minutes, putting away the rest of the groceries. She shed her jacket and threw it out over the chair, turning on the coffee pot. Emptying the whole glass into her a cup, she threw in a tea packet into it and watched the water heat up Gaara’s tea.

Naruto didn’t joke about the way she had liked Sasuke a lot but he made the pain of having done it better. He wasn’t there when she had liked him. He didn’t even know Sasuke until they first met during a debate club match.

Sometimes she wondered what he would’ve done if he’d grown up with her, if he’d known her the two years prior, when Sasuke destroyed who she’d been.

Probably would’ve killed him.

She squeezed her hand into a fist and closed her eyes. “If you hurt Naruto,” she started, “if you insult him, or call him a girl again, I _will_ kill you.”

As soon as she ended her warning, before Sasuke could say anything, Naruto swung in. The look of misery on his face immediately fell as soon as they caught sight of each other. Exhaustion leaked from her muscles as he came over and kissed her cheek.

“When did you get back?” he murmured, seemingly have forgotten Sasuke was ever there.

“Maybe ten, fifteen minutes ago,” she said. She pushed back his hair and grinned. “Heard you got a study buddy.”

His face fell immediately, and he buried his face in her shoulder. “Is he still here?” he stage-whispered.

“Yes,” Sasuke replied dryly. “Did you get your book?”

Naruto batted his eyes at him. “Remembered I actually did have it. It’s in my bag.”

Sasuke scowled and Sakura retracted away from her fiancé. She squeezed his hand, mouthed, “Good luck” and slipped off into the hallway. As she ducked past the doorway, she paused, listening to the scrape of the chairs against the floor and Naruto’s voice, usually chipper, turn serious and focused as he began discussing their project.

She squeezed the bridge of her nose, wanting nothing more than to slink into her bed and go to sleep. Instead she took a deep breath and walked into the dimly lit guest room. The balcony door was open, Gaara leaning against the wall. She slipped into place next him and bumped him with her hip.

He smiled at her. “It was funny?”

She nodded. “Please _never_ call him anything else.”

He laughed quietly. “I won’t.” He reached down and grabbed her hand, rolling her fingers between his. “You seem upset.”

She paused, not sure of what to say.

Gaara looked out to trees below. “These walls are thin, by the way.” He kissed the back of her hand, soft and quick. “What happened?”

“Oh, you know.” She waved off his question. “Sasuke’s a jerk. The first time they met was during a debate match and every time he referred to Naruto, he said it like Naruto was a girl, calling him “she” and stuff.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “Which he’s _not_. He just did it to throw him off and then kept at it because he’s a dick.”

He shook his head. “No, I meant between the two of you. There’s history. I can tell.” He cocked his head. “Did he hurt you?” She bit her lip and didn’t look at him. He squeezed her hand gently. “Will you tell me?”

A shaky breath dropped from her mouth in a sharp exhale. She brushed back her hair with her free hand and leaned into his side for comfort.

“When I was about thirteen or so,” she began in a hushed whisper, “Sasuke moved into my town. He was… _cute_. And had the whole mysterious loner vibe that most middle school girls are obsessed with.” She rubbed her cheek. “I liked him, and I wanted him to like me back so I started trying to hang out with him. In hindsight, I was a little aggressive about it but then again-”

“You’re aggressive about most things,” he followed, running his fingertips over the back of her hand.

It was soothing, to say the least. Kept her firmly grounded in the moment, shocking goosebumps up her arm. She sighed and nodded.

“Yeah,” she laughed solemnly. “It didn’t really pan out. He’d come… _sometimes,_ if I invited him somewhere and he’d treat me okay, but I knew he didn’t really like me. I still tried though.” She bit her lip. “He was like you.”

He glanced up at her, eyes questioning.

She relaxed into the wall. “When I first met you, that day in the bunker, I thought you looked lonely. And miserable. And kind of sad. That’s why I started talking to you. When I met him, I thought he needed a friend. And since I was _always_ there, I knew I was the closest thing to a friend he had, which always worried me, so I tried to get closer to him, so he’d know I’d be there if he needed anything.

“We graduated together, and I had worked _so, so_ hard and gotten into the same prestigious university as him.” She laughed, her voice feeling shallow in her stomach. So long since she’d recalled this, it almost made her sick. “I didn’t even have a major or a plan. I think I was debating _English_ or something stupid like that.”

“Temari is considering English,” Gaara said. His tone made no indication whether or not he thought it was stupid and Sakura snorted.

She brushed the hair from his eyes. “We, uh, we were the only kids from our school there, so I was the only person he knew. Which meant that we hung out a little bit more than normal. I still didn’t know anything about him, but I was learning, and it made me kind of happy to see my efforts pay off. And then in our second year, he, um, heh.” She dropped her hand to her side and looked down at the trees. “He wrote this story for his class and his professor published it to the school site. It was about this little boy who moves to a new town and is accosted _constantly_ by an annoying pink-haired girl who followed him everywhere, including his university.”

“It was about you.”

She nodded rapidly. She kept her eyes wide to stop the heat from pooling. “Everyone knew. I wasn’t the only girl with pink hair, but I was the only one who’d been dying it since elementary school and they knew it was about him, which meant they knew it was about me and I was humiliated.

“I asked him why he’d say those things about me when we were friends and he told me we weren’t friends, we were never friends and just having one thing in common didn’t make us friends and that he wanted me to go away.” She shrugged. “So, I did. I gave up after that. I left him alone. I pretended like people weren’t laughing at me. After all, I was pretty used to that.”

Gaara caught her cheek and looked at her, stroking her skin with his thumb. “You are very amazing.”

She smiled and leaned back into him. “I know. Naruto tells me all the time,” she murmured.

He stroked back her hair and sighed into her shoulder. “That’s not it, is it?”

Sakura shook her head. “No.” She took a moment to breath before pulling away. “After a couple weeks, he came back. Apologized for what he’d done. Said he’d gotten his professor to take down the story, saying it was too personal to be posted publicly. Then he started hanging out with me more. And he was _nice_.” Her voice shook in a deadened laugh. “It was weird, but I was too excited to care. I didn’t- I didn’t- I-” She grabbed the edge of the wall and sniffled. “I didn’t have anyone else.

“And then some day during all of it, he asked me what I thought of his friends and-” She scowled. “They were these _gross_ drug guys. Some of the kids on campus bought stuff from them but mostly you stayed away. Like a fifth of the time, you wound up with something other than what you had paid for just because they liked to test out things on people to see how they’d react. None of it was ever totally harmful but-” She shuddered, the thought of her roommate stumbling around, her voice slurred and her eyes crossing until she seemed completely possessed by the fucking devil. “-a lot of people wound up in the hospital because of it.”

She waved her hand, brushing it off. “I was fine. I never did drugs.”

“You just punched people in a cage for money,” Gaara said back and from anyone else, it would’ve felt like a tease or maybe an insult, but he was just laying down the facts, concurrent to how he understood the story.

She smiled and rolled her eyes anyway. “Yeah, well, that didn’t wind up with me getting my stomach pumped, now did it?” She turned around, let the breeze hit her back and sighed. The room in front of her was still dimly light but beneath all the sounds of the outdoors, she could hear Naruto and Sasuke’s voice, barely hushed, chattering from the kitchen. “I didn’t tell him the truth, that I thought they were lowlifes and he could do better. I said they seemed indifferent to other people but that I was sure that was only because I didn’t know them. I didn’t want to be pushy or annoying.

“And then, uh, a few weeks into it, he asked me if I wanted to catch dinner at this restaurant outside the city. And I said yes, dolled myself up and left. We took my car, he drove out. I wasn’t really paying attention until I realized I hadn’t seen a building in the last ten minutes. When I asked him, where we were going, that we were well outside the city by now, he just told me to be patient and then after a few minutes, he pulled over and walked me out to this field.

“I thought maybe he was taking me on a picnic.” She shook her head, the heat bursting in the back of her eyes again. “I tried to rationalize all the ways, all the reasons why a boy who’d been nothing but indifferent and mean to me would want to take me out into a field in the middle of the night.

“And then his friends were there. They were all fucking _blazed_. And I- I freaked out and back then, when I got scared, I got quiet and still and Sasuke still had my damn keys. But they were _nice_ for a few minutes,” she said. “They asked me about school, what I was studying and stuff. And then they- they.”

She cut off, the dread of the memory rippling down her spin and flooding her system.

Never had she felt so _weak_ and helpless.

Never in her life had she been so terrified out of her mind.

“They tried to rape you?” Gaara asked.

Sakura shook her head, snapping out of it. “No, no,” she said quickly. Then she paused. “I mean… I don’t know. They wanted me to take these drugs they’d made. And when I declined, they got pushy about it. Tried to force me to take them, said it would make me feel good. One guy said _loose,_ and I just got so _upset_ that I, um, I shouted at them to piss off and started walking back to the car, so they grabbed me and started trying to force it into my mouth.

“Sasuke stepped in and stopped them, said that this wasn’t the plan and got them to leave me alone. And I was-” She sighed deeply. “I was pissed that he would trick me like that, angry at myself for falling for it, angry that he’d lied, angry at- at just about everything. I sort of swirled around and punched him in the face and I guess the weight of my anger carried through because he dropped like a bag of bricks and didn’t respond when they started calling his name or pushing him.”

She licked her lips, flexing her fingers into the concrete. Gaara’s eyes stayed on her, steady, and she kept that thrum in her chest. “They thought I killed him and got pissed so eye for an eye, and they overpowered me. Stripped me down to my underwear and beat me until I could barely move or breath without being in pain. Thought they were gonna go farther than that but the leader, Orochimaru, intervened. He wanted to get Sasuke to a hospital. Said if he was dead, then they could come back and finish me off the right way. I wasn’t going anywhere.

“And then they left. And I was stuck in the middle of a field for two days. I used to wonder what was going to get me first,” she joked. “My injuries or the birds that circled above me.”

“That’s not funny,” Gaara said flatly.

Sakura shrugged. “I know.” She sighed and wrapped her arms around herself. “Ino found me a couple days later. After we graduated, she discovered girls and also realized Sasuke was kind of a dick. So, after she heard about the story, she wanted to check in with me, make sure I was okay. We started talking regularly. And after I didn’t text her back when she told me about her midterm score in a class she was struggling with, she got worried. I always quick with my responses so when I said nothing for two days, she got worried. Called my roommate, who didn’t know where I’d gone, just that Sasuke had picked me up and we’d left together.

“At that, she panicked and drove from her school to mine. On the way there, she spotted my car.” She let out a biting laugh. “The idiots, they thought I’d driven us there, didn’t know Sasuke had my keys the whole time, so they just left the car there. And I had _worked_ for that car. Everyone in our town knew how much I loved my car. So, when she saw it, just sitting there on the side of the road, she knew I had to be around. That I’d never leave it behind.

“She pulled over, started calling my name and just _scoured_ the whole field.” Sakura wiped away some budding tears, laughing. “I couldn’t thank her enough. She found me, freaked out and drove me to an ambulance. And then when I was in the hospital getting fixed up, she went to my dorm room, got my roommate to let her in, grabbed my spare set and got someone to take her out there to pick up my car. She got it cleaned and everything. Cleaned my side of my dorm. Called my parents.”

“That’s nice,” Gaara said quietly.

Sakura nodded. “She was the best. And she checked in on me every day that week. I guess we were lucky she was off for her break. She asked me a lot about what happened, but I was, I was embarrassed. I had followed him into a trap. I became one of those girls. But after a couple weeks, I got cleared to leave the hospital and I- I saw him for the first time since I’d decked him.

“He had this stupid bruise on his face where I hit him and this _dumbass_ tattoo. It was their gang sing or whatever. And when I saw it, I was just _beyond_ angry. That he’d willingly join their little club after what they did to me. When I’d been nothing but nice to him. So, I told Ino everything and she drove back down and took me to the police station because I was too edged up to go on my own. I told them _everything_ and they were so close to believing me.

“And then Sasuke got called in to discuss it and he-” Her voice cut off, strangled in its own misery. She bit her lip until it hurt and tried to disappear inside herself. “ _He lied_. He said I was crazy. And obsessed with him. Showed them the story he wrote and explained that after I read it, I got angry at him. Swore revenge or something _stupid_ like that _._ Said I’d followed him around since childhood and that the night everything happened, he’d asked me to talk so he could tell me to leave him alone and that I made him feel uncomfortable and that I flipped out, punched him and then just drove off in my car.

“He said I probably hurt myself to spite him and that he’d been with his friends the whole time and they’d _never_ do anything like that to someone.”

A hiccupping sob fell from her lips and she covered her face with her both her hands. Slowly, Gaara wrapped his arms around her and gently kissed the back of her hand until the shaking subsided. She relaxed into his chest, his firm, _firm_ grip and sighed.

“Afterwards, they said there wasn’t enough proof of to put any of them in jail and that it was all he-said-she-said and sent me off.” She dropped her hands to her side and sank into Gaara even more. “I gave up on Sasuke after that. Politely informed him after class that he was a dick and a jerk and that I wanted my keys back, which he gave me, and then I ended the semester top in all our classes just to spite him. I packed up all my things, dropped from all my classes for the next semester, asked him to meet me outside when no one was around and then I told him, “Wow, I can’t believe you did this to yourself” and set his car on fire.”

A choked laugh bubbled from Gaara’s throat and she grinned into his skin.

“And then I went home. Started learning self-defense once I was cleared for it. Decided I wanted to be a doctor, so I enrolled in Ino’s school because they had a great pre-med program. Started cage-fighting when my classes stopped feeling like a threat and then kept at it for the money. Started school. Met Naruto. Broke up with Ino. Dated Naruto. Met you. Moved in with him. Asked him to marry me. Stopped cage-fighting. You moved in. Dated you and now here we are.”

“Here we are,” Gaara echoed. He smoothed a hand over her back. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

She shrugged. “If it didn’t, I wouldn’t have met Naruto. Or you.”

“I don’t think either one of us is worth what happened,” Gaara said quietly. He pushed her hair back and looked her in her eyes. “Do you want me to kill him? I’d be willing to go back just this once.”

She laughed, burying herself in his chest.

“Or I could get Temari to do it. Her week’s open, I believe.”

Sakura giggled and shook her head as she pulled way. “I’m okay. I can handle myself now.”

Gaara leaned against the wall. “Are you sure?”

She sighed, looking at him. His eyes were deep and concerned, just like they were every time Naruto got wasted and was convinced he was invincible. She caught his cheek and smiled lightly. “I’m positive.” She kissed him briefly, content when he sighed against her mouth and pressed one hand firm to her hip. Pulling back, she pressed their foreheads together and hummed. “So, you’d kill whoever I asked or just assholes who went too far?”

“Assholes who went too far,” he said. “Murder can be…” He frowned. “Addicting in a sense, I suppose. I don’t think I’d be able to risk going back without a valid reason.”

She let out a happy sigh and nuzzled his cheek. “You want me to get the rubber chicken?”

He rolled his eyes and pushed at her softly. “I do not need the rubber chicken.”

“You sure, _Stabby_?” she teased, and he huffed, offended. She kissed his cheek. “I like you.”

He stared at her, steady, and then a slow smile bubbled over his mouth, no longer fleeting like it used to be but content in how he felt and how he expressed it. “I like you as well.”

She grinned, wide, and kissed him again, liking the way he loped his arm around her waist to steady them both. He was slow, always _testing_ his boundaries, where he was allowed to touch even if she’d given him permission a thousand times before.

A side effect to not caring before, she guessed. Now he was warier, more respectful and more concerned with accidentally hurting someone else.

He pulled away from her, breathing hard, his cheeks flushed. “You,” he started, his words slow and deliberate, careful, “you make me feel… _good_.”

“You make me feel good too,” she hummed. She grabbed his hands and grinned. “How about we go feel good together?”

He snorted. “Naruto is rubbing off on you.”

“Or did I rub off on him?” she asked. “And the answer is both, I _definitely_ have rubbed off on him.”

It took him a minute but when he got it, he choked, covering his face, embarrassed for the both of them. She just laughed and kissed his neck, tugging on his arm.

“C’mon, let’s go.” She kissed his ear before whispering, “Wanna rub off on you too.”

“Maybe I should’ve stayed with Kankuro,” he said, loping an arm around her waist and let her drag him along to their bedroom, giggling like children.

 

* * *

 

The first time she’d recounted the story, when she told it to Ino, it had taken _forever_. She’d been embarrassed about what had happened and explaining how she ended up in the field was almost as bad as having been there. The second time, to the police, had been worse. They’d been so clinical and cold about it but when she’d finished, they soothed her, calming explaining that now she had filed her complaint, they could call Sasuke’s friends down and ask them for their statement.

They let her watch the interrogation and she felt calm.

Until Sasuke.

The next few times had been to soothe someone else. Hinata, Ino’s new friend from school, who was shaky and nervous and trembling all the time. She asked Sakura how she could be so brave to learn how to box and Sakura explained that she wasn’t brave. She was scared.

She told it on the rooftops late at night when Shikamaru offered her weed and the mere sight of it had her stomach cramping in the worst of ways, her ribs aching like they were broken again, and he’d been offended at how fast she’d recoiled back and hissed no. Choji because she felt bad that she couldn’t accept his offer of rubbery scrambled eggs the morning after her birthday party but after so many months of only being able to choke down the smallest portions of easy-to-swallow food, of soft things for her aching stomach, she’d grown sick of it.

She couldn’t even look at jello the same way.

Before Gaara, Naruto was the last person she told. When she’d sat in on one of his debates one afternoon and saw Sasuke, how his eyes were still smoked, the tattoo on his neck, and listened to him refer to her boyfriend over and over again as a girl.

And the judges had just allowed it, noting that it was something Naruto would have to get used to if he ever wanted to be decent as a lawyer. That people would do and say anything to get under his skin in the middle of court, just to throw him off, and if he could withstand the remarks of an asshole, offending him to his core, then he could withstand the accusations that would follow in his future.

Naruto had been used to it though. It didn’t bother him as much as Sakura worried it had but she still told Sasuke off and he still ignored her, and she’d been _angry_ and _pissed_ that when Naruto had gone to bed, she’d pulled on her gear and drove down to her usual spot for matches.

But she couldn’t go in.

Not after she _swore_ to him she would stop.

She sat outside the building for hours before she finally went back home. By then, he was up, waiting for her, checked her out even after she said she didn’t go through with it and then just quietly asked her why.

And she told.

And Naruto, God bless him, had been so furious, so _angry_.

And Sakura was just tired.

Sasuke had been running her life from the sidelines. She’d started learning self-defense because of him. Cage-fighting because of him, because she needed an actual threat to be able to _focus_ on what she was doing. She’d gone into medicine because she wanted to learn how to take care of people properly, so she could help someone the way she was helped and because a part of her was still angry and miserable that she couldn’t help _him_.

She couldn’t drink because of him. Couldn’t get high with her friends because of him. She couldn’t eat food she used to love because of him.

She was tired of it. She let go. Just wrapped her arms around her boyfriend and let herself _cry_ for once.

She had spent so long trying not to that doing it was _beyond_ cathartic.

And Naruto just held her close, whispered that she was okay, she was safe, he would never let anyone hurt her again and she carried his promise in her chest forever afterwards.

He’d never lied to her before.

 

* * *

 

The moment something touched her back, she jolted awake, eyes snapping open. Naruto was trying to squeeze himself between her and Gaara and she relaxed, trying to still her pounding heart.

“I can’t believe you guys fucked without me,” he grumbled, squashing himself into his spot.

Gaara let out an unhappy noise at the intrusion and Sakura just rolled her eyes, shifting over some. “Stop leaving your homework to the last minute,” she shot back. “Then maybe you’ll be able to get some.”

Naruto huffed, annoyed and wrapped his arm around her waist, face pushed into her side. “I had other classes.”

She stroked back his hair and tried to relax into his warmth, like a damn furnace. Somewhere in the apartment, she heard a soft echo. She paused then prodded Naruto’s face. An unhappy whine slid from his mouth and he tried to bury himself under her unsuccessfully.

“Naruto,” she hissed, “did Sasuke go home?”

“No,” he grumbled. “It’s like two in the morning. I told him he could just stay here.”

“ _Why_?”

“Because it’s late and I’m tired!” he whined.

“You’re a dope,” Gaara said and Naruto smacked his thigh. Gaara leaned over and swatted Naruto’s chest, eyes still shut.

Naruto yelped. “That was my boob!”

“I know,” Gaara muttered, rolling over so his back was to both of them.

He curled up into a tight ball, but Sakura knew he wasn’t asleep or even trying. She sighed and stood up, grabbing a pair of Naruto’s shorts from on top of the dresser and wiggling her way into them. For all that he was short, he had the boniest, thinnest waist of all time. And Sakura was too hippy for her own good.

“Wha- where you going?” Naruto grumbled, reaching out blindly. “My pillow!”

“Sweetheart, I am not your pillow,” she said, pushing him over with her foot until he’d rolled in Gaara’s back and clung to him tightly. “He is.”

She left the room before either one of them could ask her any more questions and walked over to the guest room where Sasuke was squatting at the dresser, rifling through the bottom drawer.

She leaned against the doorway. “Top drawer, pushed to the back.”

He glanced back at her then stood back up, pulling open the top drawer and reaching into until he grabbed the spare set of sheets they had. As he made up the bed, she walked past him and reached behind the dresser, pulling out the set of small pillows her mom had given her when she’d moved in. She stepped halfway out into the balcony and dusted them off.

The air was quiet and still, like the world was holding its breath.

She handed the pillows to Sasuke, who tugged the pillow cases over top of them and laid them out onto the bed.

Smoothing the creases from the sheets, he said, very quietly, “Thank you.”

She walked past him. “Whatever.” She stepped out into the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of cold water then flicked off the kitchen lights and walked back to her room. She paused outside the guest room, sparing a glance at Sasuke, sitting out on the bed like he didn’t know how to sleep. “Good night.”

He looked up at her, his mouth falling open.

She waited for him then got tired of forever waiting and began walking off.

“I’m sorry.”

The words were hushed, and she barely heard them but her skin prickled at the tone and she stepped back, eying him. “What?”

He didn’t look at her, watching his feet. “I’m sorry. For what I did.”

She leaned against the doorway. “And what did you do?”

There was a pause in the air. So palpable she almost felt that if she moved, she’d feel it, just hanging there between them. Finally, he looked up at her. His face was different, the expression on it, _hopeful_ almost. And desperate. Patiently, he then gestured to the spot beside him on the bed. She waited for a moment before caving.

She sat down next to him and listened.

“I have been sober for one hundred and eighty-three days,” he said slowly. He rubbed his lower jaw. “And that’s because of you.”

“I thought you were still getting high,” she said. “You certainly seemed it during the mock trial.”

He nodded, his eyes sparking away from her. “I was. And then I woke up in a hospital. The nurses told me that I had been taken in by some woman who’d found me vomiting up blood. And I remembered everything right after that. I’d been… _testing_ some new drugs. I reacted poorly, began vomiting and then vomiting up the blood and they left me once they realized it wasn’t stopping. I had heard some lady who lived nearby asking me if I needed help before I passed out.”

He flexed his hands, rubbing them together. Sasuke had never seemed twitchy before, always elegant in a way, regal. But now he just seemed like a rabbit, afraid of its own shadow.

“I left as soon as I could. The doctor told me to consider this rehab program they had but I said I had school and just left. I wound up in a playground trying to get my fingers to stop shaking so I could call Kabuto and I got distracted by these two kids.” He let out a weak laugh, still fiddling with his fingers. “This little boy and this little girl and the little girl was being annoying and bothering the boy and then the boy finally snapped and asked her why she was bothering him and she said that he looked lonely. And-”

He swallowed thickly, so hard she heard it. “And that she wanted him to be her friend because she was lonely too. And I- I realized that that was us. That, um, you didn’t really have any friends when we were kids and when I came around, you must’ve noticed that I was alone too.”

She brushed back her hair, tucking it behind her ear, and nodded slowly. “I did.”

“I didn’t notice, I guess, because I- I didn’t care. And I wanted to pretend like I was okay on my own, but, you know, no one ever is.” He sighed and squeezed his knees. “The other girls were loud and annoying and I… I thought you were just like them, trying to get to know me so you could kiss me and stuff and I didn’t want to be someone’s _toy,_ so I was rude when you’d been nothing but kind. And I’m sorry.”

“Why are you telling me this?” she asked.

He didn’t look surprise at her question, just leaned back and exhaled softly. “My sponsor. Everything you said that night you _burned_ down my car had been right. I did wind up in a hole I couldn’t climb out of. I did almost die _a lot_. And I didn’t have anyone who really cared about me to come save me when I needed it. So, I got clean.”

He shifted, uncomfortable, as thought he wanted to put space between her and the personal issues he was discussing but at the same time wanted to remain close, to let her know he was being truthful. She shifted away from him, just a bit, to give him space and relief curled over his shoulders, evident in how he relaxed.

“I still had school so I couldn’t do the program, but I went in on the evenings and got tested and I went to the meetings every weekend and they matched me up with a sponsor. Kakashi. He’s great. You would like him.”

“I do know him,” she said. “He’s a friend of Naruto’s dad.”

Surprise hit him, and he glanced at her, eyes wide rather than somber. “Really?”

Sakura nodded. “Yeah. He is great. I _do_ like him.”

A quiet “heh” of a laugh fell from Sasuke’s lips. “That’s- that’s great then. Well-” He brandished his hands out. “-we were discussing some things. I mentioned that I still had regrets about my past. Some things that when I thought of them, made me want to feel numb again so I’d stopped worrying about them. One of them was you. The way I was to you.

“And I, uh, I wrote this letter.” He got up, walking over to his bag and snatching it up. As he rifled through it, he continued, “It’s an apology. About everything. And I was going to give it to you a while ago but I chickened out. And then I got paired with Naruto and I figured why not? But, um, Kakashi _suggested_ that if I had the chance, it’d be better to apologize in person.”

He pulled the letter out of the bag, two letters in fact but she didn’t note the second one. Both had her named scrawled on them, the second one slightly less legible than the first. Not giving either to her just yet, he sat back down and placed them beside him.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “For being cruel when you were nice. For writing that story. For tricking you and getting you hurt.” He pushed back his hair, fingers shaking again.

She wrapped her arms around herself. “What did you think they were going to do me?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know.” He looked at her, dead in the eyes. “I swear I don’t. They just told me if I brought you out, I’d be fully in and I didn’t think much of it. I didn’t… _think_ at all. I just. I just stopped wanting to feel at that point.

“When I woke up the next day, they told me that after you punched me, you ran off and drove back to school. When I didn’t see you, I just thought that meant you’d gone home or that you were avoiding me. And when I did see you, I was too out of it to really pay attention to the bruises and the bandages. And the wheelchair.” His nails dug into the skin on his wrist but he didn’t seem to notice, scratching an itch that probably didn’t exist.

Kakashi did that too.

“Then the police called and I came in and they started talking about you and I panicked. And I regret that. A lot.” He cut his eyes at her. “Even then.”

“That why you didn’t say anything when I burned down your car?” she asked, reaching out to stop him before he tore his skin.

He stopped under her touch. “Yeah. I felt it was deserved retribution.”

“It was,” she said firmly, pulling away.

She didn’t know what else to say. The concept of Sasuke apologizing to her had definitely been a fantasy for about the six months it took her to heal. Then she took up boxing and decided that smashing her fist into his delicate pale face was much better than being told he was sorry he left her to die.

But now she felt comforted more by the words he said. The way he shifted and spoke as though it was taking a lot out of him to apologize but not because he didn’t want to but rather because he wasn’t sure how.

Or because he was worried she’d deck him anyway.

“Anyway,” he continued on, “while I was high, I don’t remember when, I wrote you a letter. I don’t know what it says. I found it when I was cleaning up a few days ago, shoved at the bottom of a bag I don’t use anymore.” He handed her both letters and gestured loosely to the second one with the terrible scrawl of her name. It was dusty, with dirt embedded into it and worn edges. “It was addressed to you so I figured you should have it. I have absolutely no idea what it says. And given that I was likely high when I wrote it, I imagine it doesn’t make much sense but there you are.”

Sakura took both letters carefully and put the dirty one on the bottom. “And this one?” she asked, waving around the clean one.

“What I was intending to give you,” he said. “I was going to leave it before I left but I decided to be an adult and just tell you instead. I’d still like you to have it.” He swallowed and looked down at his feet. “I’m not asking for forgiveness. Or another chance. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry.” He kicked at the worn flooring beneath. “I apologized to Naruto too, by the way.”

“I imagine you had to. He would’ve kicked you out otherwise,” Sakura teased and Sasuke wilted but gave a quiet laugh. She licked her lips and stood up. “I don’t forgive you. I can’t. It just-” She took a deep breath. “I thought I was going to die. And when I did, I forgave a lot of people for things they’d said to me about my hair or my face or my personality, but I couldn’t forgive you for taking me there in the first place. And I can’t now.

“I wouldn’t know Naruto if you hadn’t done it. I wouldn’t know Gaara. I wouldn’t have the friends I have. I wouldn’t be in the school I am, doing the things I’ve done if you hadn’t left me to die there but I don’t know if any of that was worth the possibility of losing my life,” she said. “It took me a long time to heal from the injuries. I had to go to counseling for three years. I can’t enjoy a lot of the things I used to like anymore. And that’s all because of what you did.

“So no, I don’t forgive you.” She reached down and touched his cheek. Eyes full of sorrow, full of remorse, he looked up at her from the touch and she shrugged loosely. “But thank you for apologizing anyway.”

He smiled, a half smile, something more genuine than she’d ever been used to from him, something she’d seen maybe once or twice in the six, seven years she’d grown up around him.

She smiled back and patted his cheek.  Then, before she could chicken out, she finally asked a question that had been brewing on her mind since the first time he’d asked her it so many years ago.

“Sasuke, when you asked me what I thought of them, did you want me to help you get away?”

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

She sat back down, folding one leg over the other. “After you came back and were nice to me, you asked me what I thought of Orochimaru and them lot. And I told you that I thought they weren’t that great but that I didn’t know them so what I thought probably wasn’t fair.” He nodded, eyes faint, like he was remembering it. “Did you ask me because you wanted me to help you?”

He bit his lip then, after a beat, shook his head. “I can’t remember,” he said. “My life past our freshman year is kind of a blur. But… _probably_.” He rubbed his hands over his pants. “I- I _knew_ deep down that it was stupid but they’d seemed… _better_ than everyone else that I ignored it. I guess if you’d said what you’d really thought, I would’ve argued with you but you were-” He stopped to laugh solemnly. “You were different then a lot of people I argued with. You fought back. If I asked you that and I was seeking help, I probably knew that out of everyone, you’d see what I wanted.”

“Then I guess I’m sorry too,” she said.

He shook his head. “Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault. I would’ve ended up like that either way, I think. Having you stop me, even if just for a bit, would’ve just prolonged the inevitable.”

She sat back and considered that.

The small part of her that saw the upside in everyone wanted to rebel that but, in her gut, she knew he had a point. Even if he had listened to her honest opinion, he still would’ve found her annoying. He still would’ve looked for people he thought were his true equal, something he never considered of her. And he likely would’ve wound up in the exact same place, just years later.

He was a self-destructive prophecy.

Part of her was glad he’d figured it out.

“Quick question,” he said slowly, “and then I’ll shut up, but, um, _Gaara_. When he said-”

“He was telling the truth,” Sakura said. She rolled her eyes but grinned either way. “He doesn’t really lie. Says it feels weird.”

“Huh,” Sasuke said faintly. “Hmm. Wow.”

“He’s stopped it,” she said. “Long before we started dating but, and just so you’re aware, he is very interested in your demise, so I would suggest not being a dick to the people in this house. And if you tried, you probably still couldn’t find anything to pin on him.”

Sasuke snorted but nodded as she stood. “I was just curious. He seemed different.” He smoothed his hand over the sheets where she’d been sitting. “Less afraid, I guess.”

“He does not scare easy,” she said. “And I think becoming sober has made you sappier.”

He laughed, a short bark of a sound, and shook his head. “Apologies are difficult. I’ve never really done it before. And I’m trying. Not to be as much of a jerk as I was. I-” He inhaled deeply. “It stops me from finding people who I can resonate with correctly. And it hurts _me_ more than it hurts other people.”

“At least you know that now,” she said. She ran her thumb over the letters in her hand. “Good night.”

He swung himself around and she turned off the light to the room. In the dark of it all, she heard him call out after her, “Good night” and relaxed into the steady beating of her heart as she walked back to her room.

Gaara was still awake, Naruto clinging to him like a lifeline.

“You were gone a long time,” he said. “Didn’t hear any screaming so I figured everything was good. Is it?”

She nodded, leaning down to kiss his forehead, right against his tattoo, before she sank into place beside Naruto. “It is.”

“He gave you something.”

“He did,” she said, looking at the letters. She placed the clean one on the ground and stared at the dirty one, the one he said he’d written when he was wasted, the one he didn’t remember having written in the first place.

Her heart beat a little faster and the thought of what it might contain, good or bad.

Gaara reached over and caught her hand before she opened it. “In the morning,” he said. He patted her arm. “In the morning.”

She smiled and nodded. “You’re right.”

Quietly she put them away and laid back down beside Naruto, wrapping her arm around his waist. He let out a content sigh, snuggling back against her. Gaara watched for a moment. His eyes were always so bright in the darkness, just as much a guide as Naruto’s bright plume of hair.

He placed his hand over top of hers and closed his eyes.

She looked at him and considered him.

When they’d met, she was banged up but breathing and he was a predator stalking his prey. He told her what he was doing, and her gut had twitched at the tone in his voice, the way it _bred_ truth. But she’d brushed it off. After all, no gun-for-hire was going to just tell anyone who happened to be around what they were doing.

Wouldn’t they get caught?

Still she jokingly asked him questions about the man he was watching and Gaara answered her. His wife had hired him. He beat her, he beat their children. He was embezzling funds from their employees’ pension funds. He was a dick, an asshole, and his wife had hired Gaara to get rid of him.

And Gaara did.

For days afterwards, Sakura had considered going in, confessing that she knew who did it. After all, it wasn’t like someone like Gaara was _always_ going to be playing on the side of good. He wasn’t an anti-hero. He’d killed a person. He’d killed other people. He was likely killing someone right then, as she was sitting in a store drinking coffee and studying for finals.

But she didn’t.

She couldn’t.

And when she came to terms with the fact that nothing was going to get her to confess, not even her own guilt, she felt instantly better.

Gaara, like Naruto, like Ino, had that effect on her. Just seeing his face made her stomach stop cramping, made the tiredness in her bones vanish. The guilt faded as well.

He’d shown up to more matches after that day, not always stalking prey, but sometimes, he explained, being solitary made him tired. And at least when he was there, everyone was focused on the fighting and he didn’t have to _do_ anything.

He could just be.

She loved him.

She loved the way he couldn’t catch a joke half the time but the fact that he tried. She loved the way his hair stood up in the morning, how he didn’t bother brushing it because it took too much time. She loved the way he held her close when they kissed, how dazzled he seemed every time they pulled apart, like it surprised him that he enjoyed it, that it surprised he could intimate with someone in a way that didn’t involve spilling their guts.

She loved how he’d figured out the perfect way to tease Naruto. She loved the way he kissed her scars, how he kissed Naruto’s. How he couldn’t be scared but sometimes he’d feign it, overdramatic because he didn’t know how else to do it, and how he laughed. How he smiled.

She loved him so much it scared her.

And Naruto was the same way.

The first time they’d met, he was drunk and hitting on her. And she thought he was obnoxious and bothersome and when he’d shown up outside her dorm with flowers, she thought the same thing. Until he apologized for continually asking her out even after she told him she was taken. Until he gave her flowers. Until he’d been kind to her.

The thing with Sakura was, she’d never really had a friend before.

She wanted to obey the rules in games when the everyone else wanted anarchy, to make it up as they went along. She just didn’t see the fun in it.

And after a while, the other girls decided she was obnoxious, a know-it-all, and didn’t talk to her. The boys didn’t want to play with a girl. And then when she found herself matched against Sasuke, the girls who still fawned over him disliked her for how he acknowledged and her intelligence and the girls who had long since stopped fawning over him didn’t bother with her, in fear of being exiled. And once they’d grown up, started moving away from childish behavior like that, the kids she hung out with were still more like acquaintances than friends.

She certainly wasn’t going to tell them her life secrets and they definitely didn’t spill any of theirs.

Ino was her first friend and even that was strained with how Ino had treated her before, calling her names and huffing that Sakura was ugly at every moment she could. But they’d grown up and got over it and dated for a spell.

Still.

Naruto was the first person she’d known, the first person she’d ever met on her own, who liked her for her. And thought she was cool. And funny. And cute. And smart.  And didn’t hate her for being so. And she liked him so much for it so when Ino agreed that they were better off friends, she’d asked him out.

Then she’d proposed.

Both times he said yes.

She kissed the back of his neck.

How fucking _glad_ she was that he’d said yes.

 

* * *

 

When the light hit her eyes, she woke up. Her back ached, her arm squashed under Naruto ached and her mouth felt like fuzz. She groaned and rolled over, pulling her arm out from under Naruto. Slowly she sat up and stretched, hoping the knots would break and fizzle away.

Only the small ones did.

She hunched over and sighed deeply. Then stood up slowly, looking down at her two sleeping partners, entangled in each other, Naruto more so than Gaara.

But he’d always been a clingy sleeper.

She brushed her hands through her hair and turned to grab her towel from where’d she thrown it the next before, after sex led to a long, well-deserved bath.

She tugged it down. The letter fluttered with the motion and everything that had occurred the night before opened in her mind. She crouched down and picked up both letters. This time her chest didn’t pound with nerves and she didn’t care entirely too much what they said.

Sleep had left her peaceful.

Resounded.

Still, she took the letters with her and walked towards the bathroom. It was empty, and she dropped her towel onto the rack, stripping down before she stepped into the tub. The water burned when it hit her skin, but she adjusted quickly, scrubbing herself down and letting the soap run off her skin, pooling below at her feet before it ran down the drain, chasing dirt and night-time grime with it.

Done, she stepped out onto the bathmat and dried off, tying the towel around herself. The letters sat on the counter in plain sight. She picked up the clean one and tore it open, pulling out a clean sheet of paper. Every word had been handwritten, some scratched out, some underlined.

It was not word-for-word what he’d say, some parts better explained, other parts done better in the words he’d said the night before, but in summation, it was the same. She leaned against the counter and read it once more before putting it away.

Her fingers traced over the second one.

She took a breath and opened it. Even if the words written were cruel, it didn’t replace the fact that it was written by a man who’d been out of his mind and long before he’d realized he was a jerk.

It didn’t change what he’d said to her last night.

The second letter contained three sheets of paper, the first two handwritten back-to-back and the third containing a dozen doodle of the symbol he’d had tattooed on his neck. But out of the symbol grew sakura blossoms. The mark had been drawn in black ink, but he’d deliberately gone back over it in pink, drawing flowers over top of it.

Drawing sakuras.

Drawing her.

She stared at the art, confused, then slid it back behind the others and looked at what he’d wrote to her.

In small words, all completely legible and focused, he’d written, “Sakura.” Her name filled the first page. Then the second. By the time, she moved onto the second sheet, she was kind of exhausted by her name. She flipped the second sheet over and sank down against the toilet seat.

Unlike the previous pages, which were filled, the other side of the second sheet of paper contained one phrase.

Thank you.

She ran her thumb over the word.

Thank you.

Sakura, sakura, sakura, sakura, thank you.

She bit her lip and folded the papers back up, placing them back inside the letter. She didn’t know what he was thanking her for. She doubted he’d remember if she showed them to him, but she didn’t want to.

The words were just for her. And she had no queries about what they meant, only felt vindicated that she was remembered and thanked even in his worse moments.

And that out of his thorns, he’d still built a flower.

**Author's Note:**

> For a note, I imagine Kakashi started drinking and doing drugs some point after his father's death to numb the pain of losing another parent and someone snapped him out of it and now he's the chill, comfortable porn-reading guy we all know and sometimes love.
> 
> Also, thanks to Blair for helping me figure out how to interject Sasuke into the fic like I wanted, giving me the inspiration for the backstory and fic itself. Hope you all liked it, even a tad bit.
> 
> [Tumblr](http://happyk44.tumblr.com) || [Other links](http://linktr.ee/hk44_art)


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